The beginning of the end
Marmaduke Twist Well... this is goodbye. I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDN'T CRY!
And I promised more theme days. Still, what are you going to do..?
The Wonginator I'm writing in for the first time to say, the pleasure's been all mine, and that I hereby name this the day, the day of the Mega-Zine.
Only a newby could rhyme "mine" and "Zine".
The last time
So, this is the last letter I'll be sending, for obvious reasons. It's hard to believe I've been writing in for five years, mostly because I've barely wrote in in that time, and most of what I did was unfunny. Ah well, maybe something better will come along, eh?
Haryuu No Hanekata
Well, "unfunny" never stopped me either.
Animal cosmetics
Ant-ageing cream: For real veterants.
Leopard Clearasil: Change your spots!
Houndation: For ruff skin.
Bearspray: Favoured by Teddy Boys.
Sea Cower-up: For manatees with vanity. Kangarouge: WARNING: Do not use down under.
And Tail Polish, Panda Eyes, Madagascara, Butterflyliner, Thrush Blush, Mole Kohl...
All rigourously tested on humans!
Vigilante Maelstrom
It wouldn't be 'Zine without a VM list.
Never out-gunned
As it is the final 'Zine, I have decided to go out with a blaze of glory. Either that or start a highly profitable merchandise option. So, OWA can take the right hand side and I'll take the left, while Mondo goes down the centre with the Bullseye suit and the tactical nuke strapped to him. They'll never take him alive. So, HASTA LA VISTA!
Princess Psycho
Too obvious to say "you've been a blast"?
Final msg
If you're seeing Mondo in the dunes you will have no need of the fair maidens. Still, it takes all sorts. It's as well he can't now tell tales. Perhaps at the reunion, eh?
Anyway, for the last time, Bon Voyage.
Daddypoos, Wigan (Aurora Boring Alice)
So many memories Daddypoos...
It's going to cost thousands to remove them.
Poetry mourner
I've been a 'Ziner since 1993, 'Zine makes me feel as hopeful as can be. It was Insane Jam Sow who first mentioned giraffes, 'Zine has made me smile and laugh. I think Banana Flavoured Lemon has a pretty name, I'm proud to be a 'Ziner, I'm not ashamed. 'Ziners give me joy, especially Rude Boy. WLW is witty and not at all thick, and as lovely as Nashreem the magical rain stick.
Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House
There from the start - I salute you.
The last word
How to sum up 16 years of 'Zine... of nothing much, or much of nothing? Much the same really. Having created a place to muse the minutiae and fete the frivolous, we find the Earth has moved and 'Zine is no more. There'll be no more bandwagons or buzzwords, newbies or name dropping, but with a daiquiri in one hoof and a tin of pilchards in the other, I set forth with the knowledge that we all are the better for 'Zine. Friends, farewell.
WLW