Sympathies
Friend Of The 18th Century Goodnight, sweet giraffe and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. Or whatever.
It's almost like I won't be waking up tomorrow.
OtsegoMunky There are no flowers, not this time. There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find. The 'Zine is ending, to all goodbye.
Wait - I will wake up tomorrow, won't I?
I'm a psychic now
Why I don't like being a psychic. 1) A client forgot to pay after I helped him be with his loved one (killed him). 2) I keep bending my spoons. 3) When I read people's thoughts their handwriting is terrible. 4) My feet are itchy. 5) None of the ghosts I talk to believe I'm a medium. 6) I got Ouija-bored, leant back on my chair and fell into the volcano. So I'm dead. Bye!
Rose Timp
Godspeed Ms Timp. See you on the other side!
A stroll down Cliche Close
So, you bought the farm. When push comes to shove, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, but we all know you've been deep-sixed. It's always darkest before the dawn but look on the bright side before you go belly-up: every cloud has a silver lining. It ain't over till the fat lady sings so let's make a last-ditch effort and go out in a blaze of glory...
Mondo
Cliches? I avoid them like the plague.
Someone hand me my coat, will you?
The Paddy Show
PI: Welcome to the last ever Paddy Show. May I call you Sniggles?
S: Actually, I go by D-Snigglie now.
PI: So, Snigwig, you say you're here to clean up the Grime scene?
S: Damn-right, Duff Paddy. The 'state of modern music', get me? I be gonna put the 'yo' back in it, innit.
PI: I'm sorry. I can't understand you. You sound ridiculous. You really do.
S: Sniggledywingwong!
Paddy Irishman
How come Snig didn't climb Kilimanjaro?
We're in SPACE
VM: I was gonna tell you something...
GoD: It'll come to you. Are they bald?
VM: No. Oh, I know. I saved you my last Jelly Baby. Do they have brown eyes?
GoD: How "sweet". Yes. And glasses?
VM: Haha - Yes, they do. Hey, wait, it wasn't that, we're just heading straight into the Sun. I always get those confused. It's not Jen, is it?
GoD: Nooooooo! I can't believe this! You win. Again.
Vigilante Maelstrom & Griffplar Of Doom
*Reads for the fifth time. Gives up*
My first and last letter
Anyone ever played a game in a library where you change the covers of books? It confuses people as they pick up the wrong book. It's fun! It's not fun when it happens to you. Until the films came out, I thought Lord Of The Rings was a passionate love story between a stable boy and a posh woman who liked to play rough in the barn. Needless to say I was disappointed when I saw the films.
The Shamrocking Bogman (27/04/05 - Whatever Date This Is Printed)
12/03/09. See, I'm not redundant. Yet.